Aug 30, 2013 - Memoir    11 Comments

Kittu Jayaraj. The Nicest Guy I Know.

Every now and then when we hear someone say “Life is only once, so live it up”, or “Live each day like it is your last”, we safely ignore the obvious and tell ourselves that we have time. No, not quite literally, but deep inside we tend to believe that we are gonna be around for a bit. At least for me, it won’t be the same anymore.

This March, I went to Manipal in Karnataka, with some of my friends to hangout with this guy I knew from Cochin, Kittu Jayaraj. Kittu was doing his graduation and ever since he got to Manipal, he has been inviting us to come over and enjoy the delicacies of the town.

The trouble is you think you have time ~ Budha

The trip was exciting, we had some near-life experiences and we made quite a lot of stories worth telling. About three weeks later, we lost Kittu. He drowned in the ocean and passed away.

Anyone who has met Kittu knows that he is one of a kind. He is down to earth; one of those guys that you consider your close friend within the first few times of being with. The kind of guy whom you trust even though you don’t know much about.

The first time I met Kittu, I was at @BinnyVA’s nest. He was there to register the domain for Kochi Gallan. Later we associated over many different portals and worked from the same office for a very brief time. The last time I met him, we talked about the commercialization of the modern world and how we felt about it. Though he was unsure of his next adventure, he was excited to graduate and move on to a new city.

Kittu Jayaraj - Kaleidoscopic Mind

Kittu Jayaraj – Kaleidoscopic Mind

The loss of Kittu didn’t sink in easily for me. It kept coming back to me after weeks. Actually, it was one of those days today and that’s when I finally decided to write it all down.

The incident acts as a constant reminder for me for how short and fragile life is. I find that it has affected my decision making to an extend; I have this now or never attitude towards everything (in a healthy way so far at least). Such a shame that we have to have one of these experiences to apprehend the bitter truths of life.

In fact, I think it was this realization that made my last trip, the best trip ever. Last April-May-June, I went on a 50 day tour of south India covering Manipal, Mangalore, Bangalore, Davangere, Mumbai and Chennai; more on that later.

An extract from Steve Jobs’ commencement address at Stanford in 2005 makes perfect sense here:

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything โ€” all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

More on that. Source.

Kittu truly was the nicest guy I know. You will be missed man. Wherever you are, party hard.

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11 Comments

  • Very sorry to hear about your loss bro.
    May his soul RIP

  • […] first ever trip to Manipal was in last March with Kittu Jayaraj. Ever since we lost him, Manipal meant more than just a beach destination for the ones who knew him. In fact, I believe […]

  • I was his classmate at his PG course. I can never digest around the fact that he is gone; and the truth is so bitter!

    It has affected my decision making abilities to a huge amount, regarding absolutely anything. The things that we take for granted do not really stand true. It is the small things/memories that life is made up of.

    Kittu will always be remembered as the nicest guy i have ever known. Hope he is spreading smiles wherever he is right now.

    Rest in Peace, beloved brother.

  • By Reading your article, I can now truly believe that Kittu had/has touched each and everyone of us whether be family, friends or even acquaintances in such a manner, that even when our inevitable life moves on, he would never be forgotten.

    His presence was his motto of life i.e “Living Life to the Fullest, Engaged with Deep Roots of Optimism”. Still his greatest gift was of giving, and he gave everyone the same gift that he believed in, Joy. Either by his humor or his very infectious laughter, he could cheer you up in your worst lows possible and be a very true companion in your highest euphoria’s !!
    He was always fit the bill of “The friend in need a true friend indeed”.

    Since the day he has left us I often wondered things like , how life can zap you out in a minute without leaving you any remorse, as if death is selfish and doesn’t give the people who you love enough time to re-copearte, even if you are Kittu Jayaraj; One of the Best and Nicest Friend, I’ll Ever Know.

    If he was still there, what would he be doing now? Working(which he hated, :P) or Traveling (which he loved, :D) ?

    Like the person above me has said it, Wherever he would be, he truly would be making someone happy. That’s what Kittu was, he was a comet, he came and went quick but if your stars were lucky and you met him, you know what I’m talking about, his purest aura of love and friendship would live with our memories forever.

    Rest in Peace bro.

    • Its been an year since we lost him, but it feels like only yesterday. They probably had a party yesterday up there and I can see how happy he can be!

      • Just came across your post after a google search for ‘Kittu Jayaraj’, because I just came to know today that Kittu isn’t with us anymore. I know it’s probably quite late in this age of information being at our fingertips, but that’s what’s happened and that’s that.

        Let me start by introducing how I knew him; I knew him for about 3 years way back in the mid 1990’s, when we were neighbours in South Delhi (our fathers were colleagues at the workplace, Canara Bank, to be precise). Having read what you guys have written about him, I can safely say that that is exactly how I remember Kittu to have been; caring, extremely friendly, polite, diplomatic (even back in his 3rd or 4th std!). Back in those days our main talking points used to be how Captain Planet was doing a wonderful job taking down criminals who were damaging the environment, or how Johnny Quest probably had the potential to become another tech savvy protector of the world. Whatever the topic, he would make sure he ‘educated’ his younger sister in the subject matter first, so that she wouldn’t raise too many unnecessary questions in the middle of our ‘educated’ conversations! And when my family moved back to Kerala in 1998, I knew it would be difficult for me, especially trying to find someone whom I could readily share cartoon topics and get ‘matter-of-fact’ feedback in an instant!

        I did meet him once after that, albeit for a very brief half hour or so at his house during a family visit. I don’t remember what we talked about, since its been quite a long time now, but I remember him to be exactly the same way I knew him in Delhi.

        Its truly saddening to hear of the passing of such a wonderful person, and its thanks to you fine folks for writing about him that I could be pleased in knowing how he touched many more souls just like mine.

        Here’s to him, Kittu, my fine friend, may you inspire many more folks with your wonderful life.

        • Hello Shreyas, thank you for sharing your story. I am sure finding out about what happened was not easy. Sorry for your loss. Our loss.

          You live as long as the last person who remembers you, right? Even though we all miss him, he still lives on in our thoughts and memories.

  • The Nicest ๐Ÿ™‚ echo it!
    RIP Kittu!

  • We all miss you kittu chetta ๐Ÿ™

Where have you been to?